Handsomely
shod feet baseline dance
and during the pre-service ball-bouncing
you can almost hear a pin drop a point
after
a couple of slight knee-bends (apparently it’s
in the rules)
a favourite ball, the one picked out after squeezing
all the others
is skilfully tossed skywards
as
it drops in mad-dog heat
highly-strung graphite, wound up and fully loaded
rears its head to show its explosive side
but
as impact’s moment arrives
and the wrist snap comet hurtles through blurred
vision
something other-worldly warms the ears
it
sounds like someone blowing up a lilo
on a moped at full throttle
while expelling gas and air
through the neck of a water bottle
and it’s not just a one-off blow out
because each and every shot
is cheek by jowl with guttural growl
like a bulldog chewing a wasp
and
it’s not a gender-based phenomenon
‘cos both the women and the blokes
are capable of lobbing in
these grunt-assisted strokes
there’s
groaners, moaners and imbalanced hormoners
high-pitched squealers and mystical self-healers
the open to question with grumbling indigestion
racketeering schemers coughing absolute screamers
so
what exactly is going on
with the groans and moans and snorts
is it ill-fitting lycra all-in-ones
or too-tight y-front shorts
in
times of sheer frustration
we all offload the odd scream
like when you can’t get the top off
the reduced fat salad cream
but there’s nothing to suggest
you get the edge on an opponent
from being a fully paid up
freestyle grunting exponent
is
it a source of power
or a timing thing
does it fine-tune your focus
clear the throat, help you sing
can it make your game soar
like a bird on the wing
nah
….. I don’t think so
it’s
just a deep and meaningful expulsion of air
a statement of intent coughed up into the air
and while individuality is definitely worth
a shout
whatever it is that’s pissing you off,
come on - spit it out!
