Things
were sweet when he first held her hand
That week in Rhyl in his mum's caravan
All potato wedged up with sour cream
And rhythm methodology with margarine
But caught in the half light
He was nutted by despair
She came back from the laundromat with her flaws
laid bare
She told
him she loved him but she didn't like her ears
The size of her nose had reduced her to tears
She had tram lines on both of her eyes
And struggled finding leggings that could handle
her thighs
And through conjunctivitis
He could see that her pain was real
So they talked about it over coffee and a Wagon
Wheel
You're non-traditionally beautiful
And I want you just the way that you are
You're non-traditionally beautiful
And I love you just the way that you are, oh
yeah
I love you just the way that you are
In the blink of an eye she'd had an eye brow
lift
Bought a pair of those tits a JCB couldn't shift
A collagen trout-pout and a botoxed head
And was looking like an extra from 'Shaun of
the Dead'
Before he could say Pot Noodle
She was under the knife to augment
Those well-worn weather-beaten flaps on the
front of her tent
You're non-traditionally beautiful
And I want you just the way that you are
You're non-traditionally beautiful
But your smile's just a bridge too far, oh yeah
Your smile's just a bridge too far
Spider veins, crow's feet
Liposuction, reet petite
Face lifts,
perma-tans
Easy term payment plans
White
lines, tummy tucks, buttocks and thighs
Belly button sculpture, non-refelective eyes
Sphincter realignment to lift it off the deck
And a bag-head's pony tail to sort the turkey
neck
And through what looked like a road kill
As he watched her new ears being pinned
He saw that she now had a face like a cat breaking
wind
You're non-traditionally beautiful
And I want you just the way that you are
You're non-traditionally beautiful
But it's all gone a bit too far, oh yeah
It's all gone way too far, oh yeah
Ad infinitum, add paint, add jam
Ad lib, add water, ad nauseam
Take one corset, eat as many cakes as you can
And spill forth .......
Hare
Krishna
